Into The Human Wreckage


Compassion Naturally Rises When I See The Wreckage

I had spent the week looking at the world like a spectator, watching and listening to the minutiae and holding onto to myself as I felt every situation. It was like I was laser focused on the person in front of me and not saying a lot. I felt like a spy getting secret information and the information was complex and extensive. I also knew that it was all “public knowledge” and people were showing themselves. I was so happy to see Dove standing at the Normal Heights sign and couldn’t wait to get to the park and to our picnic table and to tell him:

JON: It all seems like a war zone, with messages flying every which way in each situation and there are so many situations going on. It’s overwhelming and it’s no wonder I have had to shut so much out. There are 3 situations in particular that come to mind. The first was on a 14,000 square foot estate home where I am installing decorative plaster. When I first met the superintendant 2 weeks ago he was abrasive and bossy in the usual mode, letting me know who was in charge. I could sense his fear under the “tough guy” act and I saw that it was because I was the artistic plaster guy that comes highly recommended and is going to be a pain in the butt. Building contractors are nervous of these fine Venetian plasters, and for good reasons, because they are often easy to damage.  Instead of my usual reaction to be tough in return to prove I was a man as a way of being acceptable to him, I stayed calm. I just witnessed him and saw he was afraid and as I felt the fear and I could see him relax. By just “seeing” him, I reassured him that I was aware of his concern about the plaster. I didn’t need to say anything. I observed my power and my choice. Even though he was harsh and untrusting there was a part of him that really that liked the calm witness I was being. He liked how it felt and I could tell a part of him was invested in it. At the next meeting two days later he was very different towards me. He was calm and happy to see me because he had made a decision about who I was. Our first meeting was all the information he had to go on and he liked the vibe, so even when I was a little contrary in the second meeting he overlooked it.

DOVE: Coming from a centered place one has more authentic power. In this society there is a certain sense of “deliberateness” to be able to be calm. That implies it is not an accident and thereby it is valued. Jon there is a threshold you’ve crossed. Coming from center has helped you on the physical level. Your authenticity will support you in your survival-it works!  The fraudulent approach is full of anxiety. It comes from the fear of not being enough and this lie is in the center of the false persona. You are getting skilled in the art of staying centered and the subtle dance of staying connected, allowing one’s soul to remain in the driver’s seat.

JON: So, allowing…

DOVE: Realizing that your soul has always been there in driver’s seat even when you thought you were lost. Which brings the higher realization – is it possible to be lost or to make a mistake if you realized that you have showed up for every appointment? Such realization allows you to become less critical.

JON: So when I’m feeling lost I can use “the appointment kept” idea and find meaning again “where the universe is in conversation”. Basically I can just look around and ask why. Okay then, which brings me a second situation this week. At my monthly group business coaching session we all start off introducing ourselves and what we do. Instead of my usual canned response I calmly said who I was and what I was up to.

DOVE: It was just an emanation of what was true.

JON: People visibly experienced some relief which actually lowered my anxiety. There was a point in the meeting where I remembered a story about me when I was twelve. I felt an urge to break in and take center stage. I realized it was inappropriate and that I was anxious and wanting attention. I let it go, and let it be, and kept receiving and kept centered.

DOVE: Jon, you are seeing people more. You have been invited to step into the state of witness and there’s another shoe to fall. This is the edge of the conversation in terms of you and the universe. When I went travelling and wandering Europe I would be in a certain place and say “okay God, why am I here?” I would just observe and something would happen that would tell me. It is an entrainment by the universe and it’s there always within reach. I just watch and then see a full-on fleshed out conversation exquisitely constructed with me in mind. So for example, in keeping the adventurous spirit space as being my home and on center as the inquisitor, the universe responds to my inquiry. So “waiting for the other shoe to drop” there is a certainty that it will drop.

JON: The third situation was having dinner with Suzy. She was having a lot of wine and talking at me and bringing up the whole injustice of some mutual friend owing her for an $800 rent bill. For some reason I felt stupid and ashamed for not warning her because he had done something like that to me. I didn’t buy into feeling guilty and making him the “bad guy”. I could feel her trying to hook me to help get the money through a guilt trip and go to her defense. Even though I felt overwhelmed and stupefied in her presence not knowing what to say, I didn’t react. Normally I would have said anything to avoid those feelings. Instead I held my wobbly center until the feelings past. Then she said “well its not your fault”.

DOVE: You gained enough consciousness to know you were lost and if you did something else it would compound the situation and flip you out. You knew enough that there was a center to fall out of and this amount of consciousness worked to protect you. Her show was an act intending to trigger the notion of you “not being enough” but it didn’t work. The truth is that you are smart enough and Suzy saw that. So, first she softened you up and then inserted the lie by triggering the program that “you are stupid.” She had to find the place where the lie could take hold. She intuited you were triggered by watching your response of feeling stupid but your consciousness busted her in how you let her comment hang in the air. At which point she said, “well, it’s not your problem.” She was an explicit example of the “hurt the healer” game.

JON: Exactly. When she said it wasn’t my problem, I felt free like I had really won a battle and hadn’t “caved in.” I felt stronger than ever. It was a big deal.

DOVE: You are learning what the art of keeping center means and experiencing the magnitude and depth of human psychic wreckage. It takes your breath away how it’s a war zone out there and you were left in a relatively helpless state. It sucks energy away and can leave you in a depressing state of helplessness that is painful. It was an overwhelming encounter with the lie which indicates either in no uncertain terms, or often very subtly, that “you are not enough”. You can end up drowning in the lie. The lifesaver is realizing the fact that it is a lie.

JON: As I look out at the world in this moment, the feeling that rises is a profound compassion around all the pain in the world Dove.

DOVE: That is appropriate. Gandhi, Martin Luther King, etc. had the conviction it was a lie and the dam was burst with compassion which is the inner process of the saint – it’s energetic anatomy. It is a choice of either trigger this truth or you will be drowned like the rest. Therefore Gandhi placed himself in the middle. Saints implicitly get that it’s a lie and see the human wreckage all around them.

JON: This moment feels like the “St. Francis” moment but from another angle. From a very objective place I am outside the wreckage and seeing the wreckage is part of it all too.

DOVE: Like the “St. Francis” moment from a rational place, grounded and physical and you are bigger than the lie.

JON: Yes, it’s a similar clarity but what I see is people’s pain. All the people wrapped in it having accepted the lie that they are not enough. Just beside and all around them is the magnificence they left behind and it is still just right beside them and always has been. They long for it but are blind to it. That is what I now see has been in my life too. Just outside this all inclusive ball of pain there is now magnificence I am or can be living in. Only a thin layer separates. The fact that I can see it now is an indication a greater magnitude of the magnificence I can experience at this point in my awakening. That’s what comes to me now, in this very moment.

DOVE: You are getting evidence of your largeness as part of the exquisite magnificence. So that overwhelm with Suzy was also indicative of your largeness where you saw the largeness puncture the lie and called the game. You were witnessing the hurt from where you are which indicates the largeness and the potential mystery. If someone attacks you assume they are coming from fear. With Suzy you flipped it by feeling sorry for her and implicitly witnessed her. Witnessing is engaging your compassion. Witnessing in action is a matter of not reacting and you are just mirroring, which communicates “I see you are frightened, terrified”. On another level she is asking to be witnessed. You didn’t get sucked into the story and knew enough not to react and acted instead as a mirror. You appreciated her pain and that’s all anyone is looking for.

JON: Yes, and she felt better and her communication that she did was in a flashing glance and the tone in the way she said “it’s not your problem”. It feels like I want to not engage people’s reactivity and to edit how I’m willing to relate.

DOVE: It’s off your goal. So remember the “hurt the healer”? I had told you this would start happening more and the remedy for how to heal it is to anticipate it. At first glimpse before you are fully targeted you witness them in a pre-emptive way. So you are ready to respond compassionately and to appreciate and witness their suffering. Then it is better for both and saves the song and dance of ‘hurt the healer.’ They need to know you actually see them and the result is that you are obliged or have the opportunity to be in mode of compassion as a norm. You become the answer, a walking living answer, which also shifts the experience of your life. That is very significant in a world where everyone is looking for an answer. You show up as an answer. It is not daunting and oppressing because suddenly you are in the playground and you are characterized by joy and a joy which is a transformative infectious joy. When Suzy sees that, she would support it more. If you are facilitating joy you enjoy healing people.

JON: In all three examples I felt quieter, was avoiding old behavior, feeling younger and I was changing my personality.

DOVE: You are cultivating relationship with the universe, a conversation. Having these learning situations every other day, you are building and starting to learn the language. You have been in kindergarten in a basic how to listen and be mode. The universe is dealing with you like a toddler. This connotes there is an actual intelligence you are engaging with, and it fits as the universe configures reality for your growth and attainment. How important are you? What is the magnitude of the love? Install these questions as answers that are just true and swim in the truth of it. Compassion is active and real and you can do something with it, Jon. As this becomes your normal experience there is less and less reason to get knocked off-center. Your experience becomes one of connection and the mind becomes an agent of connection rather than of disconnection.

JON: Here is an off the cuff 4th example – some beautiful women is looking at me desirably. Now, if positive energy is coming my way I need be with how that feels too. There is an importance in learning to how to observe the effect and see the mechanics and on that basis take some steps. It’s just another example of how much energy there is constantly flying around between humans.

DOVE: Just by showing up with a word, a glance, a sentence or them just looking at you, can lead them through a dangerous and treacherous entanglement. Gandhi with the force of his being led his people through. It is teaching by example where you embody the example.

JON: Compassion naturally rises when I see the wreckage in situations. If it didn’t I would be thrown into a more primitive mode where I would be engaged in ‘hurt the healer’ or some kind of reaction.

DOVE: Compassion naturally arose because you were ready for it and the net of your consciousness was there to catch it. “Hurt the healer” is still being a scientist but in a primal mode of gathering information where they use you as a Petri dish.

JON: I also offered support to Suzy, on my own terms with a possible solution. It felt like I sold out on myself a little, but more on my terms to relieve the stress of the transaction with her. I guess I wasn’t completely comfortable with this new sense of power.

DOVE: That highlights the importance of pre-emptive clearing. Each word can be used with an inflection that neutralizes to cultivate that perfect pitch. Otherwise default reality or the “white noise” takes over again. As you are the embodiment of the answer to chaos you entrain people into wanting you around because things work better, there is more abundance and bad things are transformed.

JON: So the physical manifestation lines up with your inner world one way or another.

DOVE: Eventually you will be able to facilitate and guide who people are and their relationship to source. You are stepping into the Big conversation, Jon, waiting for “the second shoe to drop”. Just “being present” allows universe to connect to you.

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