Choosing Alignment


Sovereign Role of the Heart

The café was starting to feel like a new home for us, and for me, our weekly sessions were gaining a gravity, fullness and setting a new rhythm in my life.

JON: Two things have floated to the top from the past 3 weeks. The first is “people make choices” and the second is “the practical value of being spiritual.” Both speak to me about integrating into the world. Also I got a reading from Nancy Tappe, the one who coined ‘Indigo Children.’ She speaks about wounding and fears and behaviors and seeing in colors around people. It’s different from auras. But first I want to say that the speed at which I am scribing in these meetings is important. There is a certain rhythm which seems very important. It governs the flow of what comes up and is impacting how I am, when I leave and go back to everyday life in the trenches.

DOVE: Rhythm in its subtlest form is vibration. Energy is the essence of the universe. The mystic sound of the universe is “OM” and is a way we humans can look at and align with the universe. Even meeting on the same day of the week has a rhythm and an impact.

JON: I had an experience with the flute and playing to the trees empathically. Following the sway and subtle movements of their branches brought me into alignment at another level, where the tree and I were sharing a universal space. I simply chose to do it. They actually responded to me in their movements when I slightly adjusted the sounds with my own rhythm. It blew my mind and I tested it and it worked again. There is a scientific book about that capacity of trees.

DOVE: Choosing it was like a non-linear leverage that allowed the universe to do the heavy lifting, a leverage which is always available.

JON: Everything is just there, and there is a rhythm and I can just choose to join and choose how to go and how far to go.

DOVE: Humans have a spark of the divine and hence divine sovereignty. They have an aspect of the source, meaning that choice only comes out of sovereignty. The choice is alignment or not alignment, embrace the rhythm or not. The choice is a process of running a tiny experiment that engages the aspect of the witness. In essence it is the ‘only’ experiment that there is. It is what happens when we step into or out of alignment, the epicenter of consciousness. It is important to acknowledge your own sovereignty. It is sacred, it is divine and you actually grow your own soul volition, which is actually the gift, because you are going to grow anyway, so you might as well acknowledge it.

JON: Thank you. So, Nancy Tappe gave me information about my psychic wounding, but I didn’t know how to integrate it. Also I got the same information in a different form with you, where I naturally integrated with your guidance. The information that Nancy gave has been disturbing my sleep, I think. So much of the unconscious was over stimulated. The psychic or soul wound that was uncovered is relaxation, not being able to relax, which is stimulated by the fears of exposure and safety. I found out I have 3 minds going off in me and I can never relax. I believe that everyone’s psychic wound is their own particular version of their fall from grace

DOVE: Yes, that is true. By not by circumventing your humanness you can choose, which is what your real power is and doing so is actually witnessing the divinity.

JON: The most important thing is to walk your own way and not lose touch with that, whatever “that” is.

DOVE: And to learn from everyone and all, that is the idea.

JON: I am feeling very tired and unfocused.

DOVE: Let me see. You are at the precipice of a larger choice. You are spinning around and need to marshal sovereignty for a larger choice. You have information from self–witnessing and are at point of making a bigger decision to love youself.

JON: That is so right, Dove. It is decision around self-compassion.

DOVE: A decision for a bigger alignment – a choice.

JON: “The tribe” can’t support it and there is something about being different from the tribe.

DOVE: That is appropriate. Okay then, it is engaging in core survival, fight or flight. Running it all past the psychic immune system is necessary before installing something new, before expanding your reality structure. You need to run it past all the tests and many experiments because it’s serious business!

JON: I think that’s why the notion that “humans make choices” stuck so strongly. And now I don’t feel exhausted anymore.

DOVE: Humans are the means by which the universe expands, it’s how the supreme grows and you are growing in a big way.

JON: Something else, Dove. My gnarly past came up with Jenny. I was bandying about with her psychic wound with a critical tone of voice. It hurt her and then I did it again. It was cruel of me. That kind of comment hasn’t come up for 20 years. So how is that “growing”.

DOVE: Part of “the last stage of healing” is a revisiting. he pathology emerges in full force so you can witness yourself not reacting, which implies you are not it. You get to see yourself healed, you get to choose. Then and you’ve proven it to yourself. You are healed. Somewhere in psyche you don’t know if you have overcome it, so the soul gifts you with an experience of mastery. It’s something that you must do for yourself. If I portrayed myself as a “giving healer,” then you don’t experience it from your own soul and you couldn’t presume you are fine, that there was no mistake and that everything was perfect. Spiritual awakening is the soul encountering the rhythm. The mind follows it back to the supreme. Rhythm implies something larger, that there is a synergy. Synergistic truth goes back to the source of the supreme….like a huge stadium with flood lights. And humans make choices which become more profound the more you get into it.

JON: The journey and knowing where to step?

Dove: To remain plugged in. The heart is an instrument of alignment. It beats faster when out of alignment and is trying to get back.

JON: And it registers pain.

DOVE: When you are dislodged from connection.

JON: It can always be trusted.

DOVE: Its place is in the center of the body. It is a physical organ that can amplify truth.

JON: It has a memory.

DOVE: It is a system of cataloging where you know what you know. We think with our hearts. The brain is more a memory and reaction tool. The heart is the seat of our decision. Just try stepping into something you can’t put your heart into. That you are a sovereign and divine being bears it out physically in your heart. You appreciate that it is so and therefore there is a palette of choice and it expands. The universe rolls by with a dessert tray. When one truly engages with the choice – your innate ability as a human being – you can design your own reality in seemingly miraculous ways. You would experience it as somewhat ordinary like the “Evenings For the Soul” that I do. In fact everything I say to people is obvious and out in the open – it’s public domain.

JON: There is a choice about the ability to make choices. The fact that people don’t do it, does that mean people are afraid of their power?

DOVE: If you exert too much power you encounter the fear of the tribe. They react with their own self protection and want to shut you down. When their reality structure is threatened they will marshal community, the collective immune system.

JON: The tribe is the place everyone feels safe but isolated.

DOVE: The familiar and consistent is more important and they can’t risk inconsistency because it feels unsafe.

JON: To be on their own, they assume it’s dangerous out there and therefore stick together.

DOVE: One of the spiritual aspects of Shamanism is that the shaman steps out of the tribe and is a provocative figure. The tribe will kill you mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically if you bother to be awake. They have a committed blood oath to be asleep. If you trigger their immune system, it brings up their existential fear of being safe. They have no choice but to take you out. There are lots of ways to be killed or neutralized and actually it has nothing to do with you personally. Any kind of differentness will trigger it. Therefore, there is an art and skill to being awake while others are invested in being asleep. There is something special about being a Shaman as part of the larger divine reality. In a given tribe when they see there is an “other”, the tribe has problems or issues. Tribes eventually realize through the one that they ostracized, that they as a tribe, have managed to survive. They have learnt something. Therefore some agreement between the “other” and the tribe has been forged. The tribe then gives the other a little space because the other is worth something to their collective survival. The other gave some information in order to thrive and survive. This is the shamanic quality of being in community but outside of it, living on the edge of town. It is a tenuous sort of agreement so that the other is reintegrated in a new mode. The “other” is the holder of the mystery.

JON: This all bears on me making a big decision about the tribe or myself, and a sort of “coming out” as I am, instead of “towing the line” to feel safe.

DOVE: It’s about witnessing your value. In what you are actually engaged in you can begin to understand your value outside of just approval. You are engaged in a different reality in which “who I really am” is understood differently. The important word is “value” and it relates to being seen as worthy to survive. That’s where the deep existential fear lives; that is, “should we let you live?” For example the ancient Greeks notion of a “citizen” of the state, as opposed to being just part of the land, was setting forth the idea of sovereignty of soul as personhood. In practice when male children were born, the council from Athens would make a visit the newborn and assess if they were worthy of being a citizen. Making judgment of your value to be a citizen was up in the air as to whether you would pass the smell test. There is a similar anxiety of status in the tribe and the fastest way to bring that up is to start to wake up.

JON: There is no life or vibrancy to my old ways – no expansion or growth.

DOVE: There are sleeping bodies all around which is another metaphor. One begins to be obliged to find your tribe or you will be in your default tribe. Jon, your soul has been baking and now you are done. As you wake up, something else is engaged and you are obliged to discover another tribe. Your experience, your sovereignty, is at a higher level which includes the element of authority. You resized the degree in which you are the author of your life and to a great degree! With that you are invited to see yourself bigger, which is an identity to step into. I have a question – “How is that identity of authorship or authority installed? What is the step, the magic thing?” It is to love yourself.

I was searching in my mind for an answer, and at the moment he answered the question for me, my spine straightened and energy started rushing into me. Dove’s question and answer had hit the ‘perfect pitch’ again with ‘perfect timing’ and lifted me into a semi-transcendent, highly energized space.

DOVE: To love yourself, that is the alchemy and that this is where you belong, Jon. You know what? You know you are okay. With the alchemy, there is preponderance of critical mass from inside. You can trust it – it’s safe to fall in love with yourself. You are divine enough to be trusted with yourself.

JON: Yes, that is where I am hovering these days. I am afraid of that.

DOVE: Loving yourself makes the authority safe without reservation.

JON: I’m experimenting more constantly now.

DOVE: Eventually, you will realize it’s okay to ask the psychic immune system to step back. Loving you and installing authority becomes okay.

JON: Even if others don’t understand?

DOVE: You can respond from inside that it’s okay. The tribe doesn’t need to understand. Step in the realm of certainty. Your identity sits in your heart. Know what you know. There is nothing to remember.

JON: I have so much internal dialogue. That came up with Nancy Tappe, the three minds and that they can’t relax.

DOVE: Most of which is the psychic immune system. You have to get to the point of overwhelming the psychic immune system and diffuse all the arguments with the overarching truth that you are divinity.

JON: Ah, I just flashed on the 2nd thing on the list – seeing the practical value of being spiritual, for example in business. All 3 points today have to do with being my own authority, being myself and how to get rid of the old and get practical. I feel I am being born into my life with you as a mid-wife and there are places I am stuck along the spiritual birth canal.

DOVE: Remember back to the cliff when I asked you … “Why are you not your own authority?”

JON: There is a new choice to make.

DOVE: Jenny brought up something that required an ownership on your part. It had to do with the way it was brought up. It set off a reaction so that you needed to reestablish your sovereignty. In fact, the reaction came from your need to re-establish sovereignty (from Nancy Tappe showing you something you haven’t integrated) and you went into “hurt the healer” as a way of avoiding vulnerability. You took matters into your own hands because your sovereignty was overwhelmed.

JON: I felt impotent and reacted.

DOVE: You were projecting onto Jenny what Nancy Tappe had said about you (that you couldn’t integrate.) You used it as a weapon.

JON: Yes I did. It touched on old place from 20 years ago that is still inside me.

DOVE: There is a certain irresponsibility of a practitioner (Nancy Tappe) when you show power tools to someone that’s not ready to see them. You don’t introduce a knife into the sandbox with 3-year-olds.

JON: There is toxicity coming out of me.

DOVE: True, but do it consciously because it can cause more infection.

JON: I see that now and these are signs of things really shifting.

DOVE: The lag or resolution time of these things gets shorter and shorter.

JON: Yes. On that note, a designer meeting with Paul Schatz and 2 others designers showed me the value of being spiritual in business. It was a record meeting of how I was myself, comfortable and relaxed and felt tuned in to all the subtle movements of energy. I saw all reactions and relationships including them talking about me before I came and what their impressions were after I left. It all just came to me and it all seemed obvious and I felt safe. As I was aware of what was going on around me, I was fine and nothing was wrong. Everything just was what it was and I saw deep into all of it. It was fun. And the business was happening within this larger context.

DOVE: Your session with Nancy Tappe had consequences. Not sleeping undermines sovereignty.

JON: It has underlined the importance of being aware and awake to being thrown off and out. I’m learning that it all has meaning, it all matters and it’s all another experiment.

DOVE: Yes, Jon, there is the sacredness of your own trajectory

JON: Religions and systems are themselves a form of the tribe that intrude.

DOVE: For me to invade someone’s own trajectory, I would have incurred Karma, especially if I do it knowingly by cultivating a dependency.