Alchemy of Allowing


Traversing Realities

When I called Dove at 11:00 AM he sounded well, but quite exhausted. It felt similar to how I was feeling. He told me had been very busy operating in higher energies, which I didn’t relate to. He said he just had a nap and that he always naps when he’s tired. He said humans are designed to hunt for three hours, nap and then tell stories. It made me aware of the extent Dove naturally took care of himself and how much I could learn. I felt I have been without much rest, “hunting” all my life, including today and so I told him:

JON: Good things have been happening in business but it’s been almost as stressful as having bad things happen. I have been over amped and a bit frantic. I know that for me, even successes trigger stress through the hope and the possibility of really succeeding, of being actually valued and acknowledged, just for who I am. It is a yearning for wholeness. The world seems like its all smoke and mirrors, and everyone and everything is part of a dream and in a race to get somewhere. It’s stressful to wake up fully to that Dove. Recently I have been trying to control how four different events are going to unfold in the next weeks and I am recognizing that it is not entirely up to me. I can’t control it. It’s frustrating, and controlling circumstances is not on my wish list anymore. I am experiencing that there is a greater reality running the show. I am trying to trust that I can handle what comes up, rather than be locked down by the fear of what I want not working out, of been overtaken or failing and then becoming more controlling and “all balled up” in tension. I’m tired of the mess.

DOVE: Yes, a larger intelligence is in charge. It is about cultivating a relationship with it. It’s interesting how the “Future Jon” is playing into it with all the knowing hindsight as to what it all means.

JON: I woke at 3:30 in the morning in an unusual space. Speaking aout this to you now is a way to try to capture exactly what happened. I can’t quite see it alone. It is still somewhat elusive – like trying to catch a butterfly that stays beyond my reach. There was crystal clarity to the dream and I felt profoundly humbled. It felt like I was in heaven and here in the physical at the same time. It was a very high place and I also saw that clarity existed on a gradient. Heaven was the top and there was a “redneck” consciousness way down the ladder. The “redneck” is something I often have to deal with daily on construction sites. I spoke the experience to Jenny to make it conscious. She said it was a gift.

Looking back, I now know I had been operating in higher energies just as Dove had been operating in higher energies, but I had been in my dream state. That was the feeling of exhaustion that I shared with Dove when I called him this morning. This reminds me that every incident in life does carry meaning in equal measure to how truly I ask. Dove and I were somehow synchronized. 

DOVE: There is an aspect of you that is already in heaven – “Future Jon” was experienced palpably. At this time, simply consider the possibility of the reality of “Future Jon” in a serious way. This tends to blow away the fog between you and “Future Jon.” 3:00 AM is a normal time in my experience to have epiphanies.

JON: It felt like a gift – like God playing peek-a –boo. Why a gift Dove?

DOVE: On some level you said yes. The psychic immune system is down at 3:00 AM which allows one to experience that gift. Jon, you encountered Grace

JON: It was real, palpable.

DOVE: Part of the grace, is experiencing it in such a way you can integrate it into your ordinary life. Therefore, it will have a remarkable feel to it.

JON: It feels like foreshadowing, that it will happen more, and I will have more experiences like it and in more integrated ways.

DOVE: See how it’s a theme – living the extraordinary and the ordinary at the same time. If you were on LSD all the time you would be no good and fleeting. Last night was that intense for you, but at the same time, now you can be without drugs and it can be normal, utterly unremarkable, which is remarkable.

JON: It occurred to me that perhaps the perspective of the ‘high’ one in the dream was an experience of somehow being in the 8th chakra.

DOVE: That’s important, being able to navigate is important. I think you spiked in the 9th. The 8th is associated with the alpha brain wave, the dream state or organizing archetypal experience which plays out in ordinary life. When you are dreaming you are asleep and the first 7 chakras are on “down” mode. That allows consciousness to focus with the 8th archetypal realities, symbolic stories associated with the 1st layer subtle body. So for example, when you are dreaming of someone, your 8th is blending with their 8th. This is ordinary, so it’s normal. The 9th is more transcendental. It is the aspect when time stops. There is a point in the 9th chakra where it’s possible to meet “Future Jon.”

JON: That’s what was happening and there was utter neutrality.

DOVE: The future was on same plane with “Current Jon.” It feels like stepping into your super-self, where having God’s-eye-perspective is typical.

On reflection I can see now that Dove and I had both been operating in higher energies. I was asleep dreaming and awake in the dream and now trying to work out the dream. He had been working in the higher realities fully awake and needed to nap to rest from it. There was an elastic sort of character between realities and they could be crossed over from either side. I flashed on an actual “crossover event” or traversing between realities and told him:

JON: I had an experience 3 years ago where I was in a dream that was romantically charged and I could see exactly how I wanted it to play out. I awoke still fully charged and in the dream and aware how I wanted it to go. Within one hour I intentionally and seamlessly completed the dream in ordinary reality with the person who was the centerpiece of the dream. When I expressed myself to the person, at that very moment, we both equally experienced radiant light around us. We were in a heaven of sorts and we stayed in it for 5 minutes. My dream became real as I intentionally completed it in ordinary reality. The dream coming true was something I had been wishing for since I was sixteen.
The experience of moving between realities was seamless like I was experiencing both realities from another place.

DOVE: You have had experiences where you tripped into grace, just enough to make you aware there was something, which is the track we are on now. So the track you are on becomes normal and you can go there and stay there and can navigate yourself to there. Eventually you can navigate others there as well, if it is for them to go. Hence the importance of seeing that an ordinary awareness of what’s extraordinary is not going on by accident. You got there because you went there.

JON: So the gift was self-bestowed.  I allowed it. Also when I allowed myself to speak of the last night’s dream to Jenny, about being in heaven and earth at once, it anchored it into this reality. It also gave me a sense of being able to do it again consciously, by choice, a choice to allow for it.

DOVE: Remember the butterfly, and remember from a few weeks ago, what I said to you? You can’t get the butterfly; the butterfly comes to you when you are still.

JON: That also touches on our talk last week about “the journey.”

DOVE: And now you are experiencing it on practical level in the business world. Being still and in the moment, business butterflies are landing on you…and so a lot is happening in business for you.

JON: Yes, indeed, business butterflies have been landing, and I have been feeling the stress in not being still. The change is that I can be now be more aware of my reactions as they occur, seeing the way I’ve been, and can start making different choices in the moment, “on my feet and real time”.

DOVE: The innate teaching program is within you. You have engaged being and are alerted to what’s been happening. It is very instructive. You are learning the psychic levers that keep you in the zone, seeing your reactions.

JON: I’m learning on a level that’s clearer; the seeing is clearer. I experience the energy of reactions separately, I allow them internally and don’t have a knee-jerk response.

DOVE: Instructive elements are engaging naturally within you in a process of self-witnessing that is spontaneous and instructive. It is the same alchemical process with the other kind of witnessing – witnessing others. You are getting, integrating and installing new truths that allow you to have the union/connection as you do with worldly things.

JON: So the value of reactivity is that it shows me where and what isn’t working.

DOVE: Experiencing all of it, the good and the bad, all of it serves and gives information and key knowledge about what is and how you are experiencing it. It’s all just information and it empowers you. The ecstatic states are critical also. The totality works for you.

JON: Sometimes it really does not feel like it works and that I need to control things.

DOVE: There is a control and a feeling safe, cognitively – but safe from what? What is one really afraid of? I would say “fear of being a victim”, that something possibly could happen to you. Behind control is the need for approval in a primal way. “Am I worthy of being around?” This is your psychic wound and it is a universal psychic wound. It has been codified in the fall from grace in Eden. The fall is a “human condition thing” – everyone is in same terror pool. Which gets back to the Four Great Truths: “You are Fine”; “You Have the Seeds of Your Own Enlightenment”; “You Have A Reset Button”; “the Only Lie in the Universe Is That You Are Not Enough”…Therefore, there is the drive and obsession to get defined in some way as being enough – being approved of is critical. If that gets threatened, everyone reacts the same way. Understanding that it is across the board is important. If you know that, then you can be serene enough that butterflies land on you – spiritual butterflies, business butterflies and social butterflies come and land on you.

JON: So it’s about seeing people in their energy and their reactivity – allowing all of it.

DOVE: It’s all there, experience. It’s an aspect of waking up and it’s better than just seeing human wreckage. You can stay awake through the wreckage and through the wonder, but you have to choose to stay awake. That’s how you experience it. So it’s the art of staying awake – navigating staying awake.

JON: Which is the ability to feel and to be self-reflective so that self witnessing kicks in and then you know what you are experiencing as it happens.

DOVE: You are in the world too, capable of being witnessed, and can witness yourself too. It requires self-compassion to see it all.

JON: I feel I need to muster a lot of energy to do all that.

DOVE: Mystics talk about it as “swimming uphill”. When one starts to wake up you take movement in an opposite direction to everything that’s coming at you in order to get back to the source, asking “where does it come from?”

JON: In everyday life does that translates as the act of witness, and self-witness?

DOVE: You have thoughts and reflections of everything, knowing there is a meaning to everything, and there always is.

JON: Yes, there is and I am experiencing that by choice and it proves itself everytime. For example, a greeting card from someone showed up the other day which is synchronistic what we are talking about now – a Nietzsche quote stuck to a card said: “I want to learn more and more to see as beautiful what is necessary in things: then I shall be one of those who makes things beautiful”. So I can experiment and find meaning with all of it, but not as a game.

DOVE: One starts to realize it is all an experiment anyway and one can engage. There is a certain perfect pitch. Buddhists call it “right action”, or stepping, perceiving and asserting so deftly and exacting that it resonates and entrains things around you. It tunes it to the source and pulls them to the source. Therefore every interaction and everything you bring can become a blessing because there is grace in every move. There is grace in your being.

JON: That is what that 3:30 AM dream felt like. The in-between witness place of clarity felt like grace, and in addition it seems like there is a gradient scale of awareness from zero to heaven that I am in also.

DOVE: Your encounter with grace had spiked into the 9th chakra and then bringing it into the ordinary as an experience created an alchemical shift. That fact stayed with you and continues to inform your actions. Hence the importance of the conversation right now – it allows you to own it.

JON: How different this plaster job at Diarq is, now that I’m am coming at it so differently and getting along with people, rather than bulldozing. It’s such an inner relief.

DOVE: See how important spiritual awareness is. Truth translates into the everyday experience – into the rough and tumble adult schoolyards of business…Notice we are just talking about stuff that happens.

JON: In this process we are pulling the rug out from under ego.

DOVE: You become accustomed to it and gain a cumulative ability to go with a process, to allow.  So there is an art to it; one gets better at it. You get to the point where you enjoy the challenge of new points and change becomes something one is more willing to step into, rather than be literally kicking and screaming about it.